Monday, June 24, 2013



---When we ''AFFIRM'' something, we are saying it is alright, it is okay. When we affirm someone we are also saying that the person is alright or okay. When we affirm someone and they feel it, we are actually telling them or even giving that person ''Permission'' to take his ''Next Step.''

---It is so easy to stagnate, to stay where we are without much growth in our lives. We go through the motions of living, but don't feel very ''Alive.'' Sometimes we need help in taking that next step. Sometimes we are not even sure there is a next step to take.

---There is a light at the end of every tunnel, even if at present we can't see it. As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross is accreditted for - There are 5 stages we ALL go through on the way to Accepting something (pictured above.)

---They are 1] DENIAL,  2] ANGER,  3] BARGAINING,  4] DESPAIR and  5] ACCEPTANCE. She came upon these phases while searching for those things we have in-common when we grieve. These are the stages that bring the ''Light'' into focus.  The stages of ''Acceptance'' and ''Grief'' are the same.
---We CAN ''Stagnate'' as we move along these lines. Sometimes we Deny so furtively, that we just stay ''Shallow.'' Sometimes we are just Angry, not even knowing what we are so pissed-off about, but just figure we are angry people. In the Bargaining phase, we find ourselves even making deals with God, saying things like ''If you'll only get me through this, I'll do...(and it is usually something that we have been letting slide for awhile.) Some folks don't go much beyond these points. Having a savvy support system makes a difference in here. You may have bad times, but they will help keep you buoyant enough to continue. Remember: Any suffering that you do will be a product of resisting the changes and wanting to control the changes that you are going through.

---Despair is the last ugly step before Acceptance. It is very natural to not like this stage. We feel helpless. We hate to feel this way. In Despair we know there is nothing we can do about our situation. We handle this the best we can. We suffer to the extent we are attached to a certain outcome. We have to let go of ALL this. We have to learn to ''Trust.'' We grieve for those parts of ''Ourselves'' that are ''Lost'' so as to make ourselves Whole again. We can than see that ''Light'' of Acceptance that has been alluding us all this time. The best way ''around'' something is to go through it.

---By ''Affirming'' each other, we allow the person to take that next step. We like to know that it is really OKAY to STAND where we STAND, and Affirmation brings ''OKAYNESS'' to the table. We sometimes get very scattered and are pulled in many different directions at once. Even at this spot, if we feel affimed, it gives us a place from which to take our next step. When We Are Ready. Affirm each other along the lines of the five stages above, giving others the courage to NOT stagnate too long at any one spot, and watch him or her ''Walk into the Light'' of ''Acceptance or Self-Acceptance.''  Be Well.
(Written in March, 2006)

Thursday, June 6, 2013


Living in the Present

---There are many people who speak about living in the HERE and NOW. What do they mean by that?

---People are in the present moment PHYSICALLY, but very few are actually there MENTALLY at the same time. Some WORRY about what is going to happen, whether it be soon or way down the line.

---Others spend their time thinking of things in the past. It could be some kind of blame where they feel someone is responsible for their circumstance. Or, it could be some kind of GUILT for something they, themselves, may have done that succeeded in making them seem less than perfect.

---Some could be in the present with an agenda to make things happen in a certain way. But, I wonder how many are in the present moment free and clear…just happy to be where they are. Whether in or out of the hospital, I’ll bet we don’t find a lot of people in that category. I find that when people ENJOY what they do, they are in the present moment. Take Care.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013



Mistakes: We've ALL Made Them


      ---We all seem to know what this means, but we don't seem to know the implications of it. We are so quick to note that whatever it is that has happened, is first and foremost - Not Our Fault. Then we can seem to breathe easier.

       ---As long as we are not personally responsible for what has happened - Everything Is Alright. If the way things are, can't be hung on me, than there really is NO problem.

       ---The funny thing is, that, I would probably agree. But, that doesn't mean that it is okay to do that. Well, then where does the buck stop?


        ---I think that we have to stop trying to pass the buck. Let it end right here. Don't worry about whose fault it is, and use that energy for something more constructive.

        ---Maybe, you can make the result, or victim, of what is wrong, to be alright. Maybe, you can be sure that whatever it is that you're doing, has NO negative implications to someone else. NOBODY is victimized.

        ---In this way, we take responsibility for our own actions and we see them through to the point that no one is hurt in the process. When we care about the outcome, the process becomes important. Whenever everyone involved is happy, or at least - understanding of what's going on, we ALL seem to do better. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. We ALL know about mistakes. Be Well.
(WRITTEN Oct., 2007)