PEOPLE ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE

PEOPLE ARE NOT
INTERCHANGEABLE 

---People are NOT the same. I will grant that we ALL have the same emotions and we ALL pick and choose from the same racks. We usually have some relationship with the trendy things, but when push comes to shove, I find that I tend to spend my time with people I prefer to be with.

---That is not to say that I don't care for everyone, It is just saying that some ''float my boat,'' better. These are the ones I spend more time with. The others fit in the, ''live and let live,'' compartment. I don't think that there is anything unusual about this.

---If you have a relationship with different people, you will see that the make up of one can be entirely different, than another. Each may push your buttons differently. You will find you prefer one over another. It is next to impossible to prefer everyone the same. This may occur at those times we would rather be alone, but even then our preferences come back into it.

---What I do find unusual, is that I think at the facility I live - there is a belief that ALL people are the same. The belief is that the residents are the residents...and that is about as far as it goes. IN TRUTH...we are very different as is everyone else, but, when push comes to shove...we somehow all get lumped together.

---I'm sure that it was much worse in days gone by, but there weren't people like myself (and others) who brought it up a lot. From my naïve vantage point...I would think that everyone concerned are NOW happier because a happier hospital is land ahoy AND in vision. But, it must be a different vision than I'm seeing than those with clout are looking for. It is very frustrating.

--- I really thought that those with clout would see that to Enjoy Living (that means the resident/patient) would have to Be Heard + Taken Seriously. That would happen and changes would follow.  COMPLETELY NAIVE on my part. That seems to have gone over the heads of many people (with clout) at the hospital. I realize, now, that it must be something else that they are looking for.

---If they ever get around to stuff I care about...let me know. They are far too complicated for me. I plan on writing some more. That I can't seem to help. But knowing how to play in their game has got me stumped. Take Care.

''People Are Only Interchangeable...if you have NO relationship to them! One size does NOT fit all!''

BE WHO WE ARE

BEING WHO WE ARE AND

NOT WHO WE THINK WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE

 

---I think many people are caught up in this. Many of us are in pursuit of what we think we should be and never find the treasure that exists inside. Often we are told to modify our behavior and ''act'' in a good way or ''polite'' way, at the ''cost'' of being ourselves. We seek ''approval'' at our own expense. Children seem to be especially accosted in this way. It's where the mold takes shape.
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 ---I am a firm ''believer'' in what we have within, and once people have cleaned out their muck and mire, they will be naturally good--and it Won't Be Acting. Folks will finally realize that being yourself is the best that you can be and it is important to be intelligent in your actions. All of us have this to go through. It is not an ''easy'' thing to do, but the benefits outweigh any ''hardships'' one may encounter.

---Many times our families and relations have such a hold on us that we act in a way that ''pleases'' them or in some cases ''rebels'' to what they think, as opposed to who and what we would naturally do if we were ''free'' of all of this. Don't fret too much as our parents and relations, themselves, are probably caught in this, also, from their parents, relations, etc. Also, though, this does not excuse their behavior, either, or make it any easier. Work this out or get this worked out, forgive them, forgive yourself and move on.

---Much of the time we find ourselves competing and comparing ourselves to others instead of ''being'' who we are. As long we are faring better than our neighbor, or the next guy, we can ''feel'' we are doing alright. We put much stock in being in the Status Quo of things. Unfortunately, we accept pettiness as a reaity, instead of discovering and uncovering the Truth we have inside ourselves.

---Find what is inside and don't settle. Don't get yourself caught in the point of view that is the ''common'' one. Realize what You have Within. Begin by telling yourself the Truth and watch it blossom. It starts there, Within Yourself. No matter how trivial it may ''sound'' at first, You will unravel the mysteries of Who You Are and ''Life'' itself, eventually. Be Well.

[Originally written in summer of 2007]
 

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY - WQ

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I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can be sad that I can’t walk or be happy that I have a power wheelchair that makes me very mobile.

Today I can be sad that I have one hand w/one finger or be happy that most things are push button and not rotary.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can be unhappy over the substandard food or be glad that I am fed regularly.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because there is shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping. What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!
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GOOD THOUGHT: ---Your odds of having a good day will increase dramatically if you choose to put a smile on your face as soon as you wake up in the morning. Not only will it start you on a positive path, but it will remind you that the world is yours to see however you want to see it. It can be boring and annoying, or it can be delightful and fascinating. IT IS UP TO YOU! It is too easy to let other people tell you how to feel. How about making yourself feel like you want to feel.

AFFIRMATION

''AFFIRMATION''

 

---When we ''AFFIRM'' something, we are saying it is alright, it is okay. When we affirm someone we are also saying that the person is alright or okay. When we affirm someone and they feel it, we are actually telling them or even giving that person ''Permission'' to take his ''Next Step.''

---It is so easy to stagnate, to stay where we are without much growth in our lives. We go through the motions of living, but don't feel very ''Alive.'' Sometimes we need help in taking that next step. Sometimes we are not even sure there is a next step to take.

---There is a light at the end of every tunnel, even if at present we can't see it. As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross is accreditted for - There are 5 stages we ALL go through on the way to Accepting something (pictured above.)

---They are 1] DENIAL,  2] ANGER,  3] BARGAINING,  4] DESPAIR and  5] ACCEPTANCE. She came upon these phases while searching for those things we have in-common when we grieve. These are the stages that bring the ''Light'' into focus.  The stages of ''Acceptance'' and ''Grief'' are the same.

 

                                                           

---We CAN ''Stagnate'' as we move along these lines. Sometimes we Deny so furtively, that we just stay ''Shallow.'' Sometimes we are just Angry, not even knowing what we are so pissed-off about, but just figure we are angry people. In the Bargaining phase, we find ourselves even making deals with God, saying things like ''If you'll only get me through this, I'll do...(and it is usually something that we have been letting slide for awhile.) Some folks don't go much beyond these points. Having a savvy support system makes a difference in here. You may have bad times, but they will help keep you buoyant enough to continue. Remember: Any suffering that you do will be a product of resisting the changes and wanting to control the changes that you are going through.

---Despair is the last ugly step before Acceptance. It is very natural to not like this stage. We feel helpless. We hate to feel this way. In Despair we know there is nothing we can do about our situation. We handle this the best we can. We suffer to the extent we are attached to a certain outcome. We have to let go of ALL this. We have to learn to ''Trust.'' We grieve for those parts of ''Ourselves'' that are ''Lost'' so as to make ourselves Whole again. We can than see that ''Light'' of Acceptance that has been alluding us all this time. The best way ''around'' something is to go through it.

---By ''Affirming'' each other, we allow the person to take that next step. We like to know that it is really OKAY to STAND where we STAND, and Affirmation brings ''OKAYNESS'' to the table. We sometimes get very scattered and are pulled in many different directions at once. Even at this spot, if we feel affimed, it gives us a place from which to take our next step. When We Are Ready. Affirm each other along the lines of the five stages above, giving others the courage to NOT stagnate too long at any one spot, and watch him or her ''Walk into the Light'' of ''Acceptance or Self-Acceptance.''  Be Well.
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(Written in March, 2006)

LIVING IN THE PRESENT!

Living in the Present

 

---There are many people who speak about living in the HERE and NOW. What do they mean by that?

---People are in the present moment PHYSICALLY, but very few are actually there MENTALLY at the same time. Some WORRY about what is going to happen, whether it be soon or way down the line.

---Others spend their time thinking of things in the past. It could be some kind of blame where they feel someone is responsible for their circumstance. Or, it could be some kind of GUILT for something they, themselves, may have done that succeeded in making them seem less than perfect.

---Some could be in the present with an agenda to make things happen in a certain way. But, I wonder how many are in the present moment free and clear…just happy to be where they are. Whether in or out of the hospital, I’ll bet we don’t find a lot of people in that category. I find that when people ENJOY what they do, they are in the present moment. Take Care.

WHY DOES THE BUCK STOP HERE?

 

Mistakes: We've ALL Made Them

 

      ---We all seem to know what this means, but we don't seem to know the implications of it. We are so quick to note that whatever it is that has happened, is first and foremost - Not Our Fault. Then we can seem to breathe easier.

       ---As long as we are not personally responsible for what has happened - Everything Is Alright. If the way things are, can't be hung on me, than there really is NO problem.

       ---The funny thing is, that, I would probably agree. But, that doesn't mean that it is okay to do that. Well, then where does the buck stop?

  

        ---I think that we have to stop trying to pass the buck. Let it end right here. Don't worry about whose fault it is, and use that energy for something more constructive.

        ---Maybe, you can make the result, or victim, of what is wrong, to be alright. Maybe, you can be sure that whatever it is that you're doing, has NO negative implications to someone else. NOBODY is victimized.

        ---In this way, we take responsibility for our own actions and we see them through to the point that no one is hurt in the process. When we care about the outcome, the process becomes important. Whenever everyone involved is happy, or at least - understanding of what's going on, we ALL seem to do better. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. We ALL know about mistakes. Be Well.

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(WRITTEN Oct., 2007)

''EASIER SAID THAN DONE'' - The WHEELCHAIR QUARTERBACK

Easier Said Than Done -

(Confessions of a Wheelchair Quarterback)

---Why is this statement...True. We know that it is very, true, for the most part. It is much easier being an armchair quarterback, than to, actually, make the very things you discuss, happen.
---As soon as one begins, the naysaying starts. Even if what you say makes perfect sense and would do much good, an idea doesn't go too far.
---Nowadays, people are already committed, and to get a bunch, let alone the right bunch, on the same page, is very difficult.
---What I wonder is - Why is this the case? Many have already chosen a life-style, and to make changes becomes, ''an old dog, new tricks,'' situation. People are generally addicted to the way they see things - and it usually is so close and ingrained, that they don't even see anything different.
---Their tends to be a lot of emotional attachment to a status quo. This happens to be another Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Despair and then Acceptance - situation. It is a process of letting-go of the old and allowing something new to take its place.
---Why the first step is so difficult, is that we have chosen to make feeding the family a priority and many times to take jobs and/or positions to meet this end as opposed to what we might do if we were free of all this. So, our emotional attachments keep us from acheiving our potential.
---Alas...a New UPDATE/UPGRADED Ending from the 2008 version (above.) - People and things are changing. They are AWAKENING! People are now doing more fulfilling things.  More efficient! Meaning and purpose have taken on a new priority. It has seemed that the bad economy + condition of our planet has caused folks to reinvent themselves in a way that includes doing the right thing in the process. Corruption still exists, but more people are aware of its futility and its costs. It actually seems that some folks get embarrassed at the thought of taking more than NECESSARY. Or, at least they are more aware of their feelings toward it and ARE speaking out AGAINST IT. Learn to Be Well...again!